10 Best Tips On How To Be A Good Listener

Have you ever found yourself in a conversation where the other person was talking, but you were not really listening? Or perhaps you were too focused on what you wanted to say next, instead of truly hearing what they were saying? We've all been there! But what if we told you that there are simple yet powerful techniques you can use to become an expert listener? That's right! By mastering the art of listening, you can connect with others, build stronger relationships, and even become a better leader. So, are you ready to learn the 12 best tips on how to be a good listener? Let's dive in!

Becoming a Better Listener

Becoming a better listener involves three main aspects: cognitive, emotional, and behavioural. By focusing on these three aspects of listening, you can improve your communication skills, build stronger relationships, and become a better leader in both your personal and professional life.

Cognitive:

Cognitive listening is about paying attention and processing the information being communicated. To be a better cognitive listener, it's important to avoid distractions and focus on the speaker's message. This means giving the speaker your undivided attention, making eye contact, and avoiding multitasking. You can also practise active listening techniques such as asking open-ended questions, clarifying information, and paraphrasing what the speaker has said. These techniques can help you gain a deeper understanding of the message and show the speaker that you are fully engaged and interested in what they are saying.

Emotional: 

Emotional listening is a critical aspect of effective communication that involves being aware of the emotions behind the message and empathising with the speaker. It's about not just hearing the words that are being spoken but also understanding the emotions and feelings that are being expressed. To be a better emotional listener, it's important to listen not just with your ears, but also with your heart. This means being aware of the speaker's tone of voice, body language, and nonverbal cues, which can convey a wealth of emotional information. By being aware of these cues, you can pick up on the speaker's emotional state and respond appropriately with empathy and understanding.

Behavioral: 

Behavioural listening is about demonstrating your listening skills through your actions and responses. It's one thing to listen attentively and understand the speaker's message, but it's another to show that you are truly listening and responding appropriately. To be a better behavioural listener, it's important to show the speaker that you are engaged and interested in what they are saying. This might involve using verbal and nonverbal cues to show that you are paying attention, such as nodding, maintaining eye contact, and providing verbal feedback like "I see" or "I understand" It's also important to avoid interrupting the speaker and to give them ample time to express their thoughts and feelings.

Here’s a handy guide with 10 helpful tips:

Congrats on taking the first step towards becoming a better listener! You now have a solid understanding of the three crucial aspects of effective listening - cognitive, emotional, and behavioural. That's awesome! But we're not done yet. To help you take your listening game to the next level, we've put together a handy guide with 10 practical and actionable skills to be a good listener. 

1. Repeating the last few words

Repeating the last few words that someone has said is a good listening practice for several reasons. First, it shows the speaker that you are fully present and engaged in the conversation. It also helps to ensure that you have understood their message correctly, as it gives the speaker an opportunity to clarify or correct any misunderstandings. 

2. Avoid paraphrasing unnecessarily

Only paraphrase or restate the speaker's message in your own words if you feel the need to clarify or confirm your understanding. Simply repeating the speaker's words back to them can often be enough to demonstrate active listening and ensure that you have accurately understood their message.

3. Offer Nonverbal Cues for Active Listening Naturally

Offering nonverbal cues to show that you're listening is a good tip for becoming a better listener because it helps to create a comfortable and safe environment for the speaker to share their thoughts and feelings. Nonverbal cues such as maintaining eye contact, nodding, and using open body language can convey empathy, interest, and support, which can encourage the speaker to feel heard and understood. 

Just don't force it, if nonverbal cues don't come naturally to you, focus instead on using verbal cues like asking open-ended questions or providing feedback to show that you're engaged and listening actively.

4. Be Mindful of Nonverbal Communication.

Being mindful of nonverbal communication is a good tip for being a better listener because it helps you to pick up on important cues that can give you insight into what the speaker is really saying. Nonverbal cues such as facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language can often convey more information than words alone. By paying attention to nonverbal cues, you can get a better understanding of the speaker's emotions, attitude, and level of engagement, which can help you to respond in a more thoughtful and empathetic way. This can help to build trust and rapport with the speaker, and create a more open and productive dialogue.

5. Ask More Than You Think Is Necessary. 

Asking more questions than you think you need to is a good tip for being a better listener because it helps you to gain a deeper understanding of the speaker's perspective and shows that you are truly interested in what they have to say. By asking thoughtful and open-ended questions, you can encourage the speaker to share more about their thoughts, feelings, and experiences, which can help you to build a more accurate picture of the situation and better understand their point of view. 

In addition, asking questions can help to clarify any misunderstandings or assumptions that you may have about the speaker's message, and can help you to avoid making incorrect assumptions or jumping to conclusions. Asking more questions than you think you need to can help you to be a more attentive and empathetic listener, and can help to create a more positive and productive communication dynamic.

6. Reduce Distractions to Improve Listening Skills.

Minimising distractions as much as possible is a good tip to become a better listener because it helps you to focus more fully on the speaker and the message being conveyed. By reducing distractions, you can give the speaker your full attention and better absorb the information they are sharing. 
This can help you to avoid missing important details or misinterpreting the message, which can improve the overall quality of the conversation. Minimising distractions can demonstrate respect for the speaker and their message. It shows that you value their time and effort in communicating with you, and that you are committed to being an engaged and attentive listener.

7. Acknowledge your shortcomings.

Acknowledging shortcomings is a good tip to become a better listener because it allows you to be aware of and work on areas where you may struggle or have room for improvement. Nobody is a perfect listener, and recognizing your limitations can help you to avoid common listening pitfalls and develop strategies to overcome them.
For example, if you know that you have a tendency to interrupt speakers, you can make a conscious effort to pause and let them finish their thoughts before responding. Similarly, if you have difficulty retaining information, you can use note-taking or other memory aids to help you recall key points from the conversation.

8. Avoid Rehearsing Your Response While the Other Person is Talking

This is an essential tip to become a better listener because when we focus on preparing our response, we tend to miss important details, nuances, and underlying emotions in the speaker's message. It also hinders our ability to empathise and connect with the speaker, as we are not fully present in the moment and are more focused on our own agenda. By refraining from rehearsing our response while the other person is talking, we can improve our listening skills in several ways. 
First, it allows us to pay full attention to the speaker and their message, which helps us to gain a better understanding of their perspective, needs, and concerns. Second, it enables us to ask more thoughtful and relevant questions, which can lead to more productive and meaningful conversations. Third, it promotes a sense of respect and validation for the speaker, as we are demonstrating that we value their words and opinions enough to give them our undivided attention.

9. Keep track of your emotional state

Being aware of your emotions can help you become a better listener by allowing you to manage any distractions or biases that may arise during a conversation. By understanding your emotional responses, you can avoid letting them interfere with your ability to listen attentively and respond appropriately to the speaker. Monitoring your emotions can also help you to be more empathetic towards the speaker. When you are aware of your own emotional state, you may be better able to recognize and understand the emotions of the person speaking to you. This can help you to respond in a more compassionate and supportive manner, which can foster better communication and build stronger relationships.

10. Be patient

Sometimes, it takes time for the speaker to articulate their thoughts and feelings. In such cases, professionals like therapists and psychologists who provide counselling services for students tend to refrain from interrupting. As a good listener, it's important to be patient and avoid interrupting or finishing the speaker's sentences. Give them the time and space they need to express themselves fully and resist the urge to jump in with your thoughts or opinions. By showing patience and respect, you can create a safe and supportive environment that encourages open communication and meaningful dialogue.

In a nutshell, these 10 Handy tips to be a good listener. We hope that your question: How to be a good listener, is solved! With a little effort and patience, you can become a great listener and enjoy more fulfilling relationships with those around you.